keep on moving on

Did I mention our appraisal? We heard that we're currently upside down, which meant we couldn't refinance. We were hoping to appeal the appraisal, but now the mortgage company won't return our calls and I don't have a copy of the appraisal. Very frustrating, but we're still working at at least getting a copy so we can shop elsewhere. We paid for the appraisal, and believe that we should be able to see it.

DH found out that his commission rates were being cut again. I know things are tough all over, but it was a blow since we have been struggling as it is. Most people don't realize how tough it is to work for commission, and personally I'm frustrated with the number of people who waste his time. That's another post I've been thinking about, though -- how a "free" estimate really isn't "free." Changing careers isn't an option for him - and I worry for his health if he moves back into the service side.

I found out that one of the writing gigs I was really excited about decided to slash their rates by 2/3. What was a great opportunity suddenly became a waste of time.

DH got information about health insurance rates yesterday. Our insurance costs will increase just over $1200 next year. We'll be paying almost $8000 towards our family's health insurance (which doesn't include dental, vision, disability, or life). It is good health insurance, but I'll be honest when I say that I haven't used it as much as I probably should because the co-pays were too much to take out of our budget. I still have the orders for my diabetes testing sitting here. I finally got the orders last month (16 months after L was born) and I haven't yet gone in. I'm afraid that they'll discover that I do have diabetes and then there's all the expense of that. DH is supposed to be taking a medication that is $50/month that we haven't filled in over 3 months now. We have health insurance - but can't afford to use it. I make sure the kids are taken care of, and we fill C's prescriptions regularly. I admit, it scares me.

The training position I was so excited about doesn't appear to be able to offer me any days. I have one day lined up in the next few weeks. I'm not sure if it's a reflection that she's slow, or if it's a reflection on the fact that I asked to only be scheduled on 2 specific days. I'm afraid that if I don't start using the care I lined up for Wednesdays, I'll lose it (well, actually, I'm sure of it because that was what I was told after mass on Sunday.)

BUT . . .

I was referred to some other work by someone and it looks like there will be opportunity there. This was such a kind gesture and I'm very grateful!

DH has some side jobs lined up in the next couple months that will give us a cushion.

I'm still looking, eager and willing to put in the time to do whatever is necessary to build my income. I never really stopped looking, because I knew that things could dry up quickly. I've been regularly applying and looking for opportunities.

I'm doing my best to keep my heart and mind open to all the different possibilities that may be awaiting us. I hope to look back in a year and see how everything happened just as it was supposed to in order to help us reach wherever we may be next year. I'm trying not to listen to the news and avoid discouragement.

I'm going to keep moving forward and doing the best that I can. It's a cliche, but it's the best I can do. My family deserves no less.