a little help

I am sitting in our office, listening to my 5yo chatter away to a new sitter. This is the child we worried would NEVER speak when he barely spoke at 18 months. While he does have a bit of a stutter, he definitely has no problems speaking!

I have been overwhelmed with motherhood lately, and am hoping that by forcing myself to hire a sitter once a week I will regain some balance. I feel guilty over spending the money, and am guilty right now that I'm not being productive with my time -- but it does feel good to sit in here, listen to my children playing, and know that I don't have to come out for another 2 hours.

I told myself that I would use this time for trying to determine if I could make a go at freelance writing -- give myself some dedicated time to write, research, market, etc. Earning some money in that way seems to fill a lot of my (our) needs at this time, but it takes effort. I committed to 6 weeks of having a sitter; once a week for 4 hours. I do not want to squander away those 24 hours!

DH believes that just the fact of having a break -- of not feeling pulled in 3 different directions -- of being able to breathe and maybe talk on the phone without interruption -- is worth the money we're spending. He's worried that I've taken on too much these days between homeschooling and worry and just life. The dollars to pay the sitter are very dear to us, and so I believe that I better get every last penny's worth out of them! The question remains as what would be of the most value to our family?