April 29 birth day

My doctor asked me to get my blood pressure taken today bc I had a headache when they called to check on me. I did and it was 149/92. When I reported that back to the office, they sent me directly to the hospital.

After a few hours of monitoring, etc . . . I was sent home on complete bed rest until Sunday morning when the baby will be born via c-section. She is doing great, but the concern is my safety.

Prayers are appreciated. I have a lot of thoughts about this -- but the bottom line is that I'd like to live to raise all my children -- so a c-section it is.

Will post next week again when we're home from the hospital. Please pray, too, that I find a way to find people to care for the boys while I'm in the hospital and that I can find some help when I come back home. DH won't really be able to take much, if any, time off and I'm scared about my recovery without help.

pre-e

Well, I am glad I didn't blow off my non-stress test at the hospital yesterday. The baby was moving around a bunch, as usual -- but her heartbeat was a little faster than they like to see. Then, my blood pressure was high . . . for each of the 9 readings taken while I was there. They decided to run some blood and urine work, and found I'm spilling protein into my urine and my uric acid was off so I'm in early stages of pre-eclampsia. Thankfully, my numbers were low enough that I was able to go home, but it was touch and go for a bit.

I have to go back tomorrow for another NST and more blood/urine work. Depending on the results, we may have to deliver tomorrow. Because of my previous c-section, they won't induce me -- it means another c-section.

I'm still hoping to go into labor naturally, but the hours are getting few for that to happen. Or maybe not. I'm not really sure and I'm trying to give it all up and let what happens happen.

Prayers are appreciated. Mostly for the health of me & my babe and my peace of mind.

irritable

I really really hope that this baby is coming very soon, because I am as grouchy as a bear woke up in the middle of winter. UGH. You would think my boys would steer clear of me, but instead they are harassing, arguing, fighting and being absolute hellions.

Ok, maybe not that bad -- but it sure FEELS like it to me. I wish they would just go off and LEAVE ME ALONE.

It doesn't help that I'm still having contractions -- just not regularly. DH had a late call yesterday that I had him cancel bc I really thought things were going to pick up. Um, they didn't. And we lost out on the potential sale. But, I was in tears with the boys being loud and obnoxious and defiant, so he stayed home because the call was over an hour away at 7PM, which meant he wouldn't have been home until 10 or 11PM.

I've had maybe 3 or 4 contractions today. It's the not knowing right now that is really getting to me. DH is anywhere from 10 to 150 miles away from home at any given moment and it's stressing me out. If I need my sister during the day, she's an hour commute away. I'm not at all calm about this whole process at the moment.

AND, baby has defintely slowed down. Which is either a sign of impending labor -- or of a problem. I'm supposed to go in today sometime anyway for a non-stress test, so at least that will put me at ease somewhat. Provided someone can watch the boys at the precise moment they have an open bed in triage at the hospital.

My stress level is too high at the moment. I recognize this. If only the recognition could lead to the correction of it.

37 weeks tomorrow!

Highlights of today's doctor appointment:

* Blood pressure was perfect! (first time in weeks . . . )

* Blood sugars are still a bit wacky, but not super-high. Suggested that I eat more protein. bleck. but will do my best.

* Lost 3 lbs. Talk about kick-starting a postpartum weight loss plan! LOL! Thankfully I have plenty to lose, so this isn't an issue.

* Bumped to (2) non-stress tests at the hospital weekly. Hoping babe decides to arrive this week to avoid that.

* Doc will be out of town 5/2 and 5/3. Hoping baby arrives prior to those dates, or waits until after. She totally supports my vbac plan, but admitted that one of her backup docs won't be very happy about it. She suggested that if that happens I should wait as long as possible before heading to the hospital -- something I was planning to do anyway.

* Cervix is very low, and I'm dilated about 3cm.

I've been having contractions on and off all week -- at least I know they've been doing something. Still nothing regular or painful -- but I do notice them.

The boys and I went to the kids art museum after the appointment and had a nice hour or so of it. I was sick of walking after that, and grateful we had a membership so I didn't feel like we wasted the admission price.

The boys did schooling today with minimal fuss. N still argues quite a bit about getting started, but does just fine once he does. I need to work on transitions with him some more -- he really struggles with going from one activity to another still.

Gotta switch some laundry so I have clothes to wear tomorrow!

accents

This is pretty true for me. I spent more of my life and growing years in the northeast (Buffalo) and midwest (Milwaukee). While I had a southern accent for a time from living in TX, LA and OK - I've mostly lost that as an adult. Living in AZ as an adult, I don't think I have any accent at all anymore :)

What American accent do you have?
Created by Xavier on Memegen.net

Northern. Whether you have the world famous Inland North accent of the Great Lakes area, or the radio-friendly sound of upstate NY and western New England, your accent is what used to set the standard for American English pronunciation (not much anymore now that the Inland North sounds like it does).

Take this quiz now - it's easy!

We're going to start with "cot" and "caught." When you say those words do they sound the same or different?

Same, no wait I mean different, maybe, a little bit different... Same Different

job blessings

We are so much blessed with DH's job. He has a wonderful boss -- which he hasn't had in years and is a welcome change in our lives.

His current territory is the entire state of Arizona, so there are plenty of days when he is traveling 50-200 miles one way to sales calls. Knowing I'm expecting, his boss has been calling him to check out the available calls before assigning them. Today, there were 2 in a city about 100 miles away, and a joint call available locally. DH asked me; I told him I wasn't contracting so he should take the better opportunity (which is the 2 calls far away). He let his boss know and he let DH know that if I need to get to the hospital they've already worked out how to get me there. Isn't that sweet?

I could tell you stories about former companies he's worked for out here -- and the lies they've told -- and the money they've cheated us from . . . but I won't. I'm grateful he is where he is right now and thankful my family is well provided for these days.

Love Thursday

Love is . . . thinking your momma's pregnant belly is beautiful and already falling in love with the baby sister residing inside.

** I know there's a link that I should be putting in here to go back to the people who originally thought this fun idea up, but I can't remember where it started, and I can't remember who I saw that did it recently . . . so forgive a pregnant woman. And if you know who I should link back to, please let me know. thanks ;) **

false alarm

Welp, I'm still here! Contractions petered out, so my sis & I took a long walk through Target last night . . . and nothing more. I know my body is getting ready, but she must have decided to hang out inside a while longer.

not yet

Still having contractions, but not regular at all. Less regular than they were earlier today.

Could be a false alarm, or I could be up at 3AM in active labor. My water broke in the middle of the night with both boys, so we'll see if she follows suit.

I did get a lot of laundry done today, though! I still have 2 more loads and then we're caught up.

think it's time

I think I'm in early labor. I know it could last a couple days, or I could speed up . . . but I'm having contractions every 20-30 minutes regularly.

Last night I went into the hospital for my weekly NST and AFI test and the nurse noticed that I was having contractions. I knew I was having them, but they were pretty irregular and not very painful. Today they are more regular, still not painful.

Just a waiting game . . .

Rest in Peace, Julianna

I had another post today, but it's been overshadowed by the sadness of our dog being diagnosed with cancer and making the decision to euthanize her today. Her illness was sudden -- we noticed Friday that she wasn't as active and wasn't eating much. DH took her to the vet today where they found a large cancerous tumor in her intestines. She would've been 10 in September, and the prognosis was grim . . . so we did what we felt was most humane.

N is taking it very hard. DH was in tears when he called to tell me. He brought her home for a couple hours so we could all say goodbye, and then took her back to the vet's office. I know she was suffering, and it's breaking my heart that she's gone.

We got her as a pup in 1997 and she was my faithful companion ever since. She loved the boys and was always watching out for them. In the last 9 1/2 years, she was only sick twice before - and ran off twice. She will be sorely missed in our family.

no more stuff!

I'm pretty sure I've bought everything we need for the babe's arrival. I came across this Eloise Wilkin's baby journal at Amazon though and couldn't resist. I absolutely love Eloise Wilkins and even though the journals I have for C & N are basically empty . . . I decided I needed to at least buy one for the new baby. Maybe I'll fill out some of the information in all the books this year. (a girl can always hope!)

I have a small pack of disposable diapers for that first week of meconium, plenty of baby washcloths for wipes, cloth diapers, newborn size diaper covers, onesies, sleepers, blankets, co-sleeper, baby carriers (somehow I have ended up with 5. A couple months ago I had none because I had given all of mine away. Now I have a maya wrap, a mesh pouch sling, a Moby wrap style carrier, another Moby style carrier and a solarveil ring sling. Ummm, yea, I'm not quite sure how that happened.), a boppy pillow, a couple nursing nightgowns, a couple nursing bras, car seat, stroller . . .

Yea, we don't need another thing. The only thing I'm thinking of would be small diaper covers when she's too big for the newborn ones, but I feel like I can wait on those.

And I have a rant about motherwear. When I was nursing C, I bought some clothes from them that I absolutely loved. They had a great selection of plus-size wear and it was well-made and comfortable. The fabric was high quality and the styles were cute. I recently ordered a couple things from them and have been disappointed. I ordered this maternity "dress" on clearance that I figured I would use as a nightgown. It'll be fine as a nursing nightgown, but the material is much too flimsy for me to consider wearing it as a dress! I only paid $9.50 for it, which is about what it is worth -- but the regular price was $59!!! I also ordered another nightgown that is considered a transitional gown, and the sizing seems small to me. It'll be fine once I give birth, but at 9 months pregnant, there's no extra room. I literally wore out 2 of the nursing dresses I bought from them when nursing C and had 2 or 3 of their nursing tops. After seeing the quality of this "dress", I doubt I'll order anything more from them. I've been debating ordering from their ebay clearance to check out the quality of their tops these days, but I may just try expressiva.com instead for some nursing wear once I have an idea of the size I'll need after giving birth.

I'm heading into week 36! Any day between now and the middle of May we could be welcoming her into the world! My hospital bag is 1/2 packed . . . need to finish that soon!

it's morning

Well, actually late morning. This week I've accomplished . . . schooling. 3 loads of towels. bathing myself and dressing myself.

I think that's it. UGH!

I need to sort through the bedroom stuff in the living room because C is having a playdate tomorrow with 2 of his friends from the enrichment program. One mom has no problem dropping her son off, the other mom has asked if she can stay. I've never met her. I have to entertain her for 3 hours or so. I'm not looking forward to it.

I did have groceries delivered this morning. I will need to go pick up produce, but that's a much easier grocery run than an entire shopping trip! I've tried having produce delivered, but it's hit & miss so I've learned I'm better off going out myself.

I was put on a small dose of oral meds for the gestational diabetes at my appointment earlier this week. My blood sugars have been high, and I admit to being discouraged and skipped too many meals this past week. I started the medication today, and have to get back on track making sure I eat every 2 hours in the proper balance of carbs and proteins. My blood pressure was also high at the office, so it's yet another thing to watch. I haven't been for this week's NST yet even though I know I need to go. Unfortunately, DH's schedule makes it impossible for me to count on him any day other than Monday. He has another night call today so I won't be able to do it today either. I might ask my sister if she can come over after work, but she's busy with her studies as well as having an early bedtime (she works a 6 - 3 shift with an hour+ commute.)

That's my update for now. I've decided April 29 is a good day for a birthday. Let's see if I have any say over the matter ;)

dreams

Well, not really a dream I guess. Every time I woke last night, I was sure my water had broken. It hadn't -- I just had to pee a gallon again -- but it was a constant thought each time I woke.

In my last 2 labors, my water has broken before contractions started. Of course I don't know what will happen this time, but my subconscious at least assumes we'll start the same way.

Our bedroom has been rearranged. The baby's bassinette and changing table/cabinet are in there. The toddler beds are out, but the mattresses are slid under our bed in case of need. Unfortunately, a bunch of stuff from my bedroom is currently sitting all over my living room and I need to figure out what to do with it and I just don't feel like it. I lost a bunch of storage because I used to store things under the toddler beds and our bed. DH feels like his job is done since he moved everything out, and moved back in the "important" things.

I want to get that squared away, and clear out the last cluttered spot in my hallway before giving birth. I almost let my cleaning help go, but realized that I didn't want to do that. I have laundry to fold, and more laundry to do . . . and the kitchen table to clear of clutter . . . and I've given up the thought of clearing the office before the baby is born. I'm just tired. Hopefully I'll get a burst of energy soon. OH, and I still need to sort/purge the boys' clothes. And pack my hospital bag. And get some things listed on craigslist.

We've got to get to today's schooling before my OB appointment this afternoon. I met with the diabetes educator yesterday who was going to recommend that I be put on oral medication to control my blood sugars since my numbers weren't being well controlled by diet and I was losing weight. It'll be interesting to see what my OB thinks.

I'm officially 35 weeks tomorrow. I realize I could have this babe any day now. You'd think that would motivate me a bit more!

misc bulleted list of recent things

• Shopped way too much on Friday, but managed to knock off the entire list of things remaining that I "needed" before the baby's birth. Found a carseat, stroller, and many small, miscellaneous things that have been sitting on a list.
  

• Spent the morning at a city Easter egg hunt. We've gone every year for the last 4 years, I think? The boys had a great time.

• Wore myself out and gasped for breath most of the day. Fun times.

• Loaded up the Easter baskets and hid them after the boys went to bed. Realized I bought too much candy (I don't usually put much candy in their baskets) so I have some stashed in the closet. Their baskets have good chocolates (Dove and Lindt), jelly belly jellybeans, bubbles, dvds (Happy Feet for C, Peter Pan for N), Our Lady of Grace figurines, a stuffed chick dressed like a bunny and a stuffed bunny dressed like a chick (one in each basket), cork pop guns, penny whistles, pez dispensers, extra pez candy . . . I think that's it.

• Filled about 50 plastic eggs with change and hid them in the backyard. Hopefully the boys won't care that they're all filled with money this year - - in years past the Easter Bunny has filled them with stickers, small toys and only fill a few with change. I'll explain they're getting older or something if they mention it.

• It's still true that the less I eat the better my blood sugar numbers are. However, I ate a hamburger and a soft serve ice cream cone the other day for lunch and had a very low reading afterwards. I'm just going to keep doing the best I can, avoiding sugar as much as I can, and tracking my numbers.

• Had another full ultrasound on Thursday and found that the baby is measuring only a couple days ahead of schedule, so she's not one of those "giant gestational diabetes babies" that you always hear about and I was worried about. She was doing perfect; very active and doing lots of practice breathing. The tech said she could already see that she had a full head of hair ;) Oh, and the non-stress test and ultrasound at the hospital on Tuesday also had good results. I'm still not sure how I'm going to manage those every week, but I'll do my best. Took about 3 hours, all told.
  

• We're going out for dinner tomorrow night. My mom thinks we're crazy (she did last year, too), but that's alright.

• DH wants to empty our bedroom tomorrow, clean the floor, and completely rearrange the furniture. I'm finally at a point where I'm not worried the baby will decide to come early, but I've apparently impressed him often enough that he is in a bit of a panic of getting the room ready for her NOW. I'm not going to get in his way -- I will feel better when it's done.

• Did I mention I also shopped on Thursday? No wonder I'm so freaking tired today. Found a great changing table/cabinet that almost matches our bedroom furniture and will hold her clothes and diapers. It has to be put together, which is also on the plan for tomorrow.

• I'm tired and going to bed. The boys will be up early, I'm sure ;)

OB update

Good news:

No planned change in delivery plans. The plan right now is that I can go into labor on my own and proceed as wanted.

Little concern that I've lost 5 lbs since Wednesday, and am 10 lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight. Low blood sugar numbers are most important right now.

No plan for insulin. The plan is that I just eat less and do what I can to keep the blood sugar under control.

So-So News:

I'm going to weekly OB appointments. This isn't too early, actually -- don't they usually start around 36 weeks anyway? I'm 34 weeks this week.

I also have to go to the hospital weekly for non-stress tests and ultrasounds. This will be most difficult, as I can't take the boys, and can't even make definite appointments. I have to call and see if a triage room is available . . . this should get interesting. I start tomorrow.

mother's blessing

I had the most amazing day yesterday when my friend D threw my "mother's blessing." She did an amazing job, and I feel ever so blessed today :)

Please see my picture blog for pictures and details!

I'm headed off to my OB in about 10 minutes. I'm trying to keep a clear mind and not have any preconceptions about what she might say. Because, of course, my preconceptions are all the worst case scenarios which I'm trying to banish from my thoughts!