surprise

I've been feeling funny the last few weeks. Food hasn't tasted right, and my stomach has been feeling pukey. I realized at the gym this week that I've lost a few pounds. (something I could stand to do - but I hadn't been working at it.)

A month or so ago I picked up a pack of pregnancy tests on clearance and had them in the bathroom. My cycles are very irregular (anywhere from 45 days to 8 months) so I like to have a few on hand.

And, sure enough, last night, 2 lines came up on the test almost immediately. (I always lose weight in the first trimester - which is why the gym weight was a clue for me.)

From what I know, I likely conceived in early August, so we're looking at a new baby sometime in April.

For the first time, I waited until B was home before telling him. (the previous 3 times I told him over the phone.) I decided I wanted to see his face this time. He was stunned and happy. It's been 2 1/2 years since my miscarriage and this is the first pregnancy since then. I'm a little nervous about miscarrying again, but I realize there's not much I can do.

I'm also concerned about my age (39 in November) and the fact that this baby won't have a built-in playmate like C & N do. N will be almost 5 years old, and while I know they will love their new sibling - I know how close and inseparable they are, which is aided by the fact they're only 18 months apart. I'm also worried about the family dynamic. This last year it has gotten so much easier with no diapers, no naps, etc. etc. It'll be interesting to be thrown back into that again.

But, what a blessing! My parents have planned a family reunion and big 40th wedding anniversary party next summer in WI; so we'll be going with a new family member. I'm not sure when I'm going to tell them - I think I'll wait until I visit the doctor and have a clearer picture of when the baby is due.