I never thought I would be saying anything like this -- but, I really love how the Arizona sunshine bleaches my cloth diapers! It's amazing to me how much brighter and whiter they become after sitting in the sun for a couple hours. I know -- they're DIAPERS . . . and really, does it matter if they're white or stained? But, somehow it makes me happy to put their bottoms in super white dipes!

On another "mothering" note, my boys were in the bathtub last night. C is holding his penis and explaining to his brother "Ok, this is C's very own penis. That is YOUR very own penis. Even Daddy has his very own penis. And then Mommy has her very own penis." I interject - "Well, Mommy doesn't have a penis." Very puzzled look followed by "So, you have a different kind of penis??" Consider explaining to a 2 1/2 year old the anatomy of male/female and decide to respond "Yep, Mommy's got a different kind."

I had a funny / scary / definitely "crazy mommy" moment last week. One night, around 1AM, I went into to N's room when he woke to nurse him (he's just one). We still have the futon in there, so I just lay down and go back to sleep while he eats. I woke up a couple hours later and looked over, and thought "Oh, C (2 1/2) is sleeping with me. He must not have wanted to go in by dad" A few minutes later I woke again and thought "ok, here's C -- where's N??" I frantically feel around the bed (he tends to wander on the bed anyway) and can't find him anywhere. I literally lift C and see if somehow he's laying on top of N, but no. Then I search his crib, thinking I put him back in there (which I do sometimes when he's wandering a lot and I worry he's going to fall off the futon) and just didn't remember. He's not in there. I am panicking by now and rush into our bedroom waking B with "I LOST THE BABY" He wakes up "huh?? what do you mean??" And I'm kinda shrieking that I lost the baby!! Of course, he comes running into the room and starts looking under the futon immediately, and in the closet and then looks at the bed and says "he's right there" and I say "NO, I lost N -- that's C" and he says . . .

"No, that's N. C is sleeping in our room"

Yes, I'm totally serious. I must have been dreaming that N was still an infant and when I woke up, I must not have woken up fully -- because I was looking for a tiny infant, and not my 20lb, 29" child. My heart was racing
and it took me forever to fall back asleep again . . . and so, I think that has to be my craziest mommy moment yet.

In college, someone once told me that I had an "intense and ridiculous need to over-communicate." WHY I remember this 13 years later, I do not know, but it seems an appropriate quote to begin my blog with.

Of course, I now have a one year old hanging on my leg, desiring attention -- and my 2 1/2 year old is pleaing that I "PLEASE stop email" -- so I guess this is the end of my first-ever post :)