sweet children of mine

My one year old's kisses smell of chocolate. I don't know why or how, but when he comes at me for a kiss with his open mouth, I swear he smells of chocolate.

I told my 2 year old I had a headache. He gets this concerned look on his face and comes over to me to put his hand on my forehead. "Oh, Mommy, do you need a cool cloth?"

Must be doing something right
I have to say that my boys are generally happy kids -- so I must be doing something right, right??? Not that they don't have their moments of tears, cries, whines, and temper tantrums -- but for the most part -- they are very happy, smiley, giggly kids. And I love that about them. They are ready to share their smiles with the world -- and do so on a regular basis. I'm lucky.

I change my kids' clothes a dozen times a day. I don't know why I don't let just let them run around 1/2 naked . . . I mean, does anybody really care?? N is at that age where he has so much fun feeding himself -- but every meal means that he is covered from head to toe, plus the high chair, and the floor all around him. So, after every meal, I'm changing his outfit.

Unfortunately, C would never go for it. He must always be wearing pants/shorts -- and don't even TRY to put a sleeveless top on him.

I have this insane thought that people will see us out and think "Oh, look, she looks a wreck, but at least she makes sure her kids look cute & their clothes match." Often, DH will dress them and I will re-dress them before we go out because he'll do things like put a pj top on with shorts, or choose a top/shorts that just don't match.

We visited some friends yesterday -- for the last time in a long time, likely. They are leaving for San Antonio so he can pursue a PhD program and he will likely be stationed anyplace but here when he finishes. I am so sad they are leaving -- B has been friends with him & his brother since high school and since G&G arrived in Phoenix 3 years ago, we have depended on them. They have been wonderful friends to us, and so wonderful to and for our boys. I know C will miss them, as they are 2 of his favorite people.

This is one of those times when it is sooo hard to be far from our family & friends we've had for years. I do love Arizona -- but we really haven't made many friends out here and I can see how wonderful it is for our boys to have people in their lives (other than us). It's not that we haven't made attempts -- we have!! -- but not many have really clicked. I made some friends while working, but all (except one) have drifted away since I made the decision to stay home. DH has made some "work" friends, but none that have made it over to the personal side of his life. It's selfish, I know, but we are going to really really miss G&G.

I never thought I would be saying anything like this -- but, I really love how the Arizona sunshine bleaches my cloth diapers! It's amazing to me how much brighter and whiter they become after sitting in the sun for a couple hours. I know -- they're DIAPERS . . . and really, does it matter if they're white or stained? But, somehow it makes me happy to put their bottoms in super white dipes!

On another "mothering" note, my boys were in the bathtub last night. C is holding his penis and explaining to his brother "Ok, this is C's very own penis. That is YOUR very own penis. Even Daddy has his very own penis. And then Mommy has her very own penis." I interject - "Well, Mommy doesn't have a penis." Very puzzled look followed by "So, you have a different kind of penis??" Consider explaining to a 2 1/2 year old the anatomy of male/female and decide to respond "Yep, Mommy's got a different kind."

I had a funny / scary / definitely "crazy mommy" moment last week. One night, around 1AM, I went into to N's room when he woke to nurse him (he's just one). We still have the futon in there, so I just lay down and go back to sleep while he eats. I woke up a couple hours later and looked over, and thought "Oh, C (2 1/2) is sleeping with me. He must not have wanted to go in by dad" A few minutes later I woke again and thought "ok, here's C -- where's N??" I frantically feel around the bed (he tends to wander on the bed anyway) and can't find him anywhere. I literally lift C and see if somehow he's laying on top of N, but no. Then I search his crib, thinking I put him back in there (which I do sometimes when he's wandering a lot and I worry he's going to fall off the futon) and just didn't remember. He's not in there. I am panicking by now and rush into our bedroom waking B with "I LOST THE BABY" He wakes up "huh?? what do you mean??" And I'm kinda shrieking that I lost the baby!! Of course, he comes running into the room and starts looking under the futon immediately, and in the closet and then looks at the bed and says "he's right there" and I say "NO, I lost N -- that's C" and he says . . .

"No, that's N. C is sleeping in our room"

Yes, I'm totally serious. I must have been dreaming that N was still an infant and when I woke up, I must not have woken up fully -- because I was looking for a tiny infant, and not my 20lb, 29" child. My heart was racing
and it took me forever to fall back asleep again . . . and so, I think that has to be my craziest mommy moment yet.

In college, someone once told me that I had an "intense and ridiculous need to over-communicate." WHY I remember this 13 years later, I do not know, but it seems an appropriate quote to begin my blog with.

Of course, I now have a one year old hanging on my leg, desiring attention -- and my 2 1/2 year old is pleaing that I "PLEASE stop email" -- so I guess this is the end of my first-ever post :)